The holiday season can be a complicated time for many, especially for those who carry the weight of trauma, depression, or anxiety—often born out of difficult family dynamics. The cheerful lights, festive gatherings, and incessant pressure to be joyful can clash painfully with unresolved emotional pain. Navigating familial interactions during the holidays can leave one feeling overwhelmed, and sometimes, no amount of deep breathing or mindful meditation seems to help. But what if I told you that something as simple as putting a song on repeat could serve as a powerful self-care tool?

Yes, you read that right. Research in music therapy, a growing field in psychological and neurological sciences, suggests that playing a song on repeat may not only offer emotional regulation but may also provide a way to process complex feelings in a non-verbal, deeply resonant manner. Let’s explore how—and why—this can be your secret weapon for surviving the holiday season.

The Magic of Music: Processing Complex Emotions

We’ve all heard the expression “a picture says a thousand words,” but it turns out music might express a thousand emotions. Research in music therapy underscores that listening to music—especially when repeated—offers a safe, non-verbal means of processing emotions. A song doesn’t have to be restricted to a singular feeling like happiness or sadness. In fact, the beauty of music lies in its capacity to communicate multiple emotions simultaneously—whether it’s the soft melancholia of a piano melody or the cathartic relief in a well-placed crescendo. This richness allows us to tap into and express emotions that words often fail to capture.

Repetition only enhances this effect. When you loop a song, you not only engage with its emotional complexity but allow your brain to settle into its familiarity. Neurologically, this repetitive listening stimulates the brain’s limbic system, which is responsible for processing emotions, making it easier to revisit challenging feelings in a controlled, comforting manner. Think of it as a mental rehearsal of your emotions, a way of returning to them again and again until they feel less overwhelming, less frightening.

An Anchor in the Emotional Storm

Let’s face it: holidays can be emotionally turbulent for those grappling with family systems that have contributed to trauma, anxiety, or depression. Old wounds resurface. Unresolved conflicts hang in the air like a lingering scent. It can feel like navigating an emotional minefield; in those moments, something predictable—a song you love—can serve as an emotional anchor.

Psychologists note that familiarity breeds comfort. By playing a familiar song on repeat, you create a predictable environment for your emotions, even amidst chaotic family interactions. Repeating a favorite song is like setting an emotional baseline—a stable foundation that’s yours to return to whenever things feel out of control. It becomes a form of cognitive fluency, where the brain finds ease in processing something it knows well, allowing you to feel calmer amid external stress.

Dopamine, Joy, and a Tiny Bit of Escape

There’s also some good, old-fashioned neuroscience at play here. When we listen to music we enjoy, our brains release dopamine, the neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and reward. This can provide a momentary escape from the stress of social interactions, a brief mental vacation to help reset your emotional state. This is especially helpful for those experiencing anxiety or depression, where positive emotional experiences can sometimes feel hard to come by. Playing a song that makes you feel good—again and again—can amplify that dopamine release, helping you reclaim joy even when external circumstances aren’t entirely joyful. This doesn’t mean you’re ignoring your problems; rather, you’re allowing your brain to recharge emotionally, allowing you to return to the situation with a clearer mind and a more balanced heart.

Music as Self-Care, Not Avoidance

Some might wonder, “Isn’t putting a song on repeat just a way of avoiding my feelings?” Absolutely not! In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Music, particularly when used in music therapy, is a tool for emotional engagement rather than avoidance. By repeatedly listening to a song, you create space for your emotions to surface—whether it’s sadness, relief, or even a mix of nostalgia and grief. You allow yourself to experience your emotions safely, without the need to verbalize or analyze them immediately. For those in therapy, particularly for trauma or depression, this can be a profoundly helpful tool. Music serves as a mirror for emotions that can feel too raw to confront head-on. By playing a song repeatedly, you’re gradually desensitizing yourself to those heavy feelings, allowing them to be felt and processed without being consumed by them.

A Lighthearted Coping Strategy for a Heavy Time

Now, I’m not suggesting you spend the holidays with headphones permanently glued to your ears (though, if that works for you, no judgment here!). But when things start to feel a little too much, consider giving yourself a momentary break by retreating to a favorite song. Whether it’s a calming instrumental piece or that pop anthem you’ve had on loop for years, use music as your emotional “pause” button. Let it help you regain control, even if just for a few minutes, before stepping back into the holiday fray. As a therapist, I’m always looking for practical, grounded strategies my clients can use in their daily lives, particularly when old family dynamics resurface. Playing a song on repeat might seem like a small, even trivial thing, but in the world of self-care and emotional survival, it’s these small tools that can make all the difference. The next time you’re feeling overwhelmed by the holidays, put on a song that speaks to you, hit the repeat button, and give yourself permission to process, feel, and maybe even dance a little.

After all, who says healing can’t be set to music?